I'd have to pay a price either way

I think if someone were to assume or judge me, then they should have just straight up given me a drug test. When I applied to another job at Amazon, they said there would be a 5-level drug test and I didn't mind taking one and even signed a form of consent saying that I would be tested. I didn't work in that particular area at Amazon and got hired in another department and didn't mind. I would bitch slap the man who would say he had a "qualified drug test." That's bullshit. If that wasn't a threat and it was a test, that's some deadly lie. If I do lose the job anytime soon, I hope someone does get on Amazon's case: "Why didn't you just give her a drug test?," with the most given innuendo. Like I wasn't a victim of defamation of character. In several ways. What's always been worse than an arrogant man is an arrogant man with an arrogant cut throat bondage game. If all of this is punishment because I refuse to be a lesbian, I would seethe in rage on that one. I am just forced blinded-sided in between what I can't see, or in a corner where I have nothing at all and still deny a person's will to give their self whatever right they think they have. It's not that I'm out to be the rat- I feel like I'm being forced to pay a price no matter what I do. .... ....I usually don't like to compare, but I was going to have something nice to say about Pittsburgh compared to Cumberland. It's like some asshole wealth wants to force me back to Cumberland either way. I refuse to have any respect for my undertaker. They are my worst jealous judgmental loser for life. I think there is cannibalism in both Cumberland and Pittsburgh, but I have had the ability to make money in Pittsburgh. The defamation of character and cannibalism in Cumberland was extremely bad. I wouldn't even look at myself as a double standard with defamation of character. The way people want to call shots or be the worst straight up intentional liar is beyond awful. My actions are not the same. I feel I deserve more favor of protection in Pittsburgh against intrusions, extreme judgment, judgment in its most plain form, and my undertakers. I feel it's almost impossible to expect anything from Pittsburgh because of the way I wrecked into Mike, Sidney, and Chris. I'm not sorry and I still want them to be shamed to this day for the way they chose to dare themselves with their judgment, and hostage taking. I can't help but be my own sadist against those three and I hope they experience torment and torture. ... ...One hope I had with Amazon was eventually being able to afford to move and have a job to relocate with. It's difficult to feel safe, comfortable, or to have a better living because I feel like someone will always want to piss on me. Not always. I feel like I might be more likeable if I went somewhere else which is easier to live, than be that disliked. I may run into some other wealthy person who will always want my life to be pissed, ruined, and wrecked. I want to be optimistic but that is easier said than done. .....