Wish I had something better to talk about

When a person can't win no matter what they do, they can't. I prefer to be more of a reserved person who keeps a lot of thoughts to myself and gossiping is mostly not even an indulgence of mine. You can't win with violence begets violence either where people don't always recognize or want to recognize just how violent gossip can be. A lot of it is about control and the reputation one person wants another person to have. The lies, manipulations, and games people want to have can reach very deadly levels. While I don't ever want gossip to have much power, I think it is a very underestimated and overlooked issue amongst people. I hate the times I feel I can't win in my personal freedom and not feeling like I should have to be controlled with: who cares what other people think? The control, complexes, and vanities vary among people. I have personally felt the loss of life in assumptions of vain, conceited superiority complexes who gives their self any and every credit they can. I can't get over the way some people will never fear their own lies, assumptions, and self credibility. I know I'm not the only person who has this stick to beat a person with and have had to live in my own fear with the worst way people would further lie against me in the ways they want to beat me with the same stick. It's terrorizing with the way people want to control you with their agenda or think they can outsmart you. I hate how forcefully manipulative some people are when they want to force you into fighting with them and forcing more of a relation out of you.... My topic has many tangents and the thoughts can keep going in so many different directions. I could seriously organize an essay but am just doing my own free write... When a person can't win because they feel they have no other choice to gossip or be defensive. There is no doubt about some people wanting to put another person into a corner or beat them into certain submissions because they want their rules to reign. There are times when I feel more acutely pushed around by a person's will to make me feel molested or threatened with rape. If I wanted to live in paranoia because I havn't gotten out a lot and the way it makes me look because I haven't gotten out a lot I could. I have too many other things to worry about and the way some people want to threaten some paranoias on me are not my winners anyway. There are always fears of credibility and losing to someone's lies and superiority complex. I know I get battered to this day by superiority complexes and the credits they give themselves and threaten my life with. It is one of the most terrorizing cut throat things to me. If I could control the reputation of some entities I see and the pattern of judgment, I would go all out in wanting them to look like a die hard terrorist group or gang. I want to say Jihad or some middle eastern group but I just don't want to touch the actual religion of Islam with some guys in general anymore but their chauvinism can be very comparative to the way those groups work. Some guys just don't recognize just how controlling they are and all about their rules. Some men can pose and act like they want to care but they really look like they just want to be conquestial with the rules and I feel I am often a target to their prejudice. I've already felt manipulated and blackmailed to be raped because I don't play their games or rules. I'm just not with any man's program. Once again, while I always don't have the time to go out, what am I to do when I have the time? Just sit at home? Be their basement slave either way because I feel forced to succumb to their fear? …..Last night wasn't too eventful. While I can more than call the guy I was hanging out with a rough neck, he was a very questionable pattern and drone. I would call him rude in a lot of ways. I know I'm not interested. I did kiss with him on purpose but just wasn't going to come out and say: "Seriously, I'm using you just so I could bitch slap another molester who was wanting to control me with his rules." I could judge this guy of wanting to feed my fears more with the molestation: "This is what you get for not living in fear to kissing strangers," with how much he took advantage and got me alone on some streets with himself. I eventually told him to just stop and thankfully he wasn't going to be a wife beater about it, but he put me to his worst test. He was so rude in so many ways. "Until I find someone I trust or want buddy." Listen to the rest of the lyrics to the song. Of course some people will always want to take me in their own worst manipulative ways. While I still march to the beat to the song, like I have to march in my utmost religious way like the song is in the bible. Fuck the drones. Fuck their rules and judgment.

Final Say Against Being buried alive

My final response is what I see is what I get. When I know I am being hunted and there is a never ending objective to kill, there just is. Pride and Prejudice. Prejudice will always be a manipulator in one way or another. I hate being called a tran, and although I used to fear saying it both due to jealous rages and the generalized fight in everyday society, I hate being called a tran. I can occasionally clown about it sometimes, but I have never taken myself seriously with it at all. I still see the hunter as a child stabbing me to death over one thing or another. I am being forced to be in a corner one way or another, the tran corner is another. I hate arguing. I hate being defensive about it. If I were to have any most right dominate crown: it would be with Olga where I know I am to smart to fight or care about it. You are starved children that I have no other choice to be the most threatened with because when you don't want to admit your hate, your prejudices, and your objectives I have to pay the price for what you aren't strong enough to own up to. I hate your will to touch me, and you should be treated to sexual harassment for the way you won't stop putting me in the corner and keeping me threatened with your judgement and labels. So, I was joshing around as your "dad." Once more, you manipulate the original conversation to threaten me and blackmail me. Besides this rant, was another one I was going to get into with having summed up: being intentionally rejected to be blackmailed. Like one man can speak for all. Like one man deserves to have control over another woman for his rejection. And, once more, because of the way she won't be blackmailed or controlled over his rejection, this is another manipulative reason she is the tran. There is definitely a harassing Draper virus running around that I know I will be further blackmailed with if I don't respond and stay too much of a high and mighty Olga against it. So, hear you have me screaming another cry for help because there is nothing I can do about your jealous objectives in wanting to put me in a corner. What I see is what I get. A man wants me or he doesn't. A man has aimed objectives and a drive to have his way. It doesn't make it right. I will not take the fall over your jealousy. Call me a tran. Threaten to treat me like a man. I'll always want nothing to do with your weak kind who has never known when to stop and get your hands off. I am Unhad and you are unwanted.